It has been a challenging year because, I have to learn how to be a mother again. All the responsibilities that implies being with my daughter. I have put her through unsafe and unsanitary conditions because I was still not getting the point of what being a mother is all about. We were homeless for a while going from home to home. I am not proud of that. Today, even though we are back with my mother I am taking all the responsibility for my daughter. I didn't know how much I loved Neomi until now. I know that I never ever want to let her down, ever again.
Today I look back at the past and I realize that yes, I was a bad mother, and yes I neglected my daughter, and yes, I abandoned her, but I suffered a lot without her too. I see today that I hurt myself more than I thought, worst of all, I hurt my little angel. I know that someday she will be able to understand many things, and I hope that she will be able to forgive me. I still can't forgive myself even though I know that I am doing things better now, and even though that I know that I have made the right choice by realizing how much I needed my daughter next to me, and fighting for her to be by my side once again.
She is a happy little girl today and I am very grateful for that. I just want to keep on making each day a day for us and a day to be together and hug each other. I love my daughter. I love my Neomi.
There is one more thing that I did wrong, I hadn't mentioned it. I am pregnant again from a man who will never care for his child. However, I promise myself and my daughter that it will be the last stupid mistake that I will make again. Neomi and I are now expecting a new baby girl at home. She is very happy, I AM TOO, but I know that it shouldn't have been like that. Yet after realizing that I had messed up again I decided that I don't want to live a life like the one I had been living.
I am positive that I want to dedicate my entire time to take care of the needs of my two baby girls. Neomi and Osiris. "So Heavenly Father, I thank you for allowing me to make my life better, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to be with my daughter once again, and I thank you for all the blessings that you give me every day. I just pray to you that you may guide me through this new life, I pray that you may give me the strength to fight against temptations and that you can give me the strength to move forward with my daughters. Please bless my Neomi and make Osiris be born healthy. Bless my family and all those who need your love. I pray this in the name of your beloved son, Jesus Christ. Amen"
