San Diego MEChA Central Sunday Dec. 6 2009

This month's San Diego MEChA Central Meeting was held at Cal State San Marcos. The chapters present were few but the meeting went well. The main topic discussed at the meeting was the MEChA Central Constitution which is to be revised by the individual chapters and then taken back to the next central meeting. At the central meeting ideas were put on the table of possible changes that would occur with the constitution, but to make it a fair document we need to have the chapters review it and give their own opinions about the constitution changes. The document will be presented again at the next central meeting and a final document will be set and taken back to the chapters so they see what was decided based on every ones opinions.

Present:
CSUSM
City College
SDSU
UCSD
Palomar College
Lindsay High School

Upcoming events:
SDSU- Noche de Cultura Thursday Dec. 10 from 7pm to 9pm
CSUSM- HS Conference (not sure of date and time)
CSUSM- Rally Dec. 11 from 1pm and on
Palomar College- Cinco de Mayo Event
Regional Meeting Dec. 20 at 10am in Cal State Fullerton

The next central meeting will be January 16th 2010 at 11am in Palomar College

I do want to apologize to the students from UCSD for not being in the picture. The picture was taken after the meeting and by that time you guys were gone, I know I should have taken it before but I completely forgot. Sorry!!!

San Ysidro March! Saturday Dec. 5 2009

The March at San Ysidro Community Park was a meaningful event that was meant to educate the San Ysidro community and their visitors about the realities of the Gatekeeper. More than a hundred people including students and leaders of different organizations showed up and supported the cause.

The 3.5 mile march starting point was at the park and to the border, across the freeway bridge and back to the park. Coffins were carried by the people that marched to represent some of the more than 5,000 recognized bodies (with out counting those other thousands that are unknown) that have been found dead from trying to cross, the majority of the people wore black to remember this as well. As the March went on we invited the residents of SY to join the march and support the cause. Some small businesses supported by calling out our cause on their microphones and other people honked from their cars as they went by. I believe that the march went well and that many people understood the message.

The fight though does not end there, Nuestra Gente will keep fighting for the wall to fall. Our goal will only be reached when there are no more deaths caused by the gatekeeper.

La Union Hace La Fuerza!!! Only together will we be able to reach our goals and help out our people.

Candle-Light Vigil Nov. 23 2009

MEChA de SDSU students held a Candle-Light Vigil protesting the new admissions policy for local students. It is one of the many ways in which the students show support for the students that might be denied the opportunity to attend SDSU for the following year.

Current SDSU students let the HS students know that they are fighting together with them for the removal of the new policy. HS students raised their voice to show that they want to be part of the SDSU student list and they don't have the sources to attend out of state colleges and or universitites out of their local area. They also raised their voices to say that they shouldn't have to compete with out of state students for a spot that belongs to them for being in the local area.

Candles were handed out to the students and where carried as they marched around the campus while singing "No Nos Moveran", and "De Colores" to further extend the message that they want local-access to SDSU. The march started at the Aztec Center stair and went arround the library, ending at Manchester Hall. The candles where then set on the floor to spell the word FORGOTTEN to represent those who have been denied the opportunity to attend SDSU for the following year.

MEChA students from different schools will be fighting together for the restoration of the local students admission policy. They local-access and they want it NOW!

The event went well in overall and while there were many things that could've been better, the message was there and it was being expressed in different ways. I myself attended and was very happy and pleased to know that HS students are being represented by MEChA and that they will keep on supporting us.

San Diego MEChA Central

Mechistas gathered together at Balboa's Centro Cultural de la Raza, Saturday, November 21st 2009 for the comeback meeting of MEChA Central. The Mechistas that gathered there had a chance to talk about the importance of this meetings and why they should be held often. Some of the reasons given where:

• to establish communication between the different chapters of Mecha
• for support
• involvement with activities from different chapters
• to understand that what happens in the community has an impact on all communities

An agreement was made among the Mechistas present that day that it was important to have the meetings often and the plan was set as follows:

• meetings will be held once a month
• the dates aren't exact but will be set for the third Saturday of every month
• time will be at noon
• Chapters will take turns hosting the meetings

because we know that some third Saturdays are already scheduled for an event there will be some months were the meeting might be held on a different date, but for the most part the Mechistas are asked to please schedule future events around the third Saturday of every month so that the meetings can work out as planned.

Some the upcoming events that were brought up on this meeting:

• SDSU protest Nov. 23
• Statewide Conference at Pasadena City College in the spring
• National Conference in Seattle, Washington mid 2010

The next San Diego Meeting will be held in less than a month due to the winter break.

Next Meeting: Sunday, December 6th @ 12pm in CSU San Marcos

Should Marine Mammals Be Kept in Captivity?

I do feel that marine mammals should be held in captivity because they are protected from wild dangers, they get medical attention, if needed, and because they provide entertainment for people. I think that it is a good way for animals and humans to interact and mingle together.

In the wild, many animals can't protect themselves from the dangers that are out there, especially the dangers that are caused by humans like, trash in the seas that we forget to dump in the trash can and end up in the salty water. Also much of the water from the seas can often get contaminated by the water that is not treated and some of the animals that come by can get sick freom that contamination. I really think that having them in captivity saves them from this sort of dangers.

In the salty waters animals can't get treated if they get ill or if they get hurt. At places were the animals are kept in captivity they are treated for injuries if harmed and if they are ill they are treated as well. I know that some of the animals would go through extreme pains and they would not be treated for that pain if they were out in the wild waters and for that reason I feel that it is good that they are held in captivity. If a female mammal is pregnant there is a bigger chance that she can give birth witout conplications.

Holding marine mammals in captivity I belive is a good way for people to know that this animals exist, I think that it is good that they get to interact with us humans and we get to learn about them. I know that saome people don't pay attention to the facts when they go to the entertainment places like Sea World but there are many ther people that do like to learn about them. I think that holding the animals in captivity is also a good way to understand their needs and their actions. Its good to learn about the animals that surround us.

Holding animals in captivity is a good way to learn, entertain, and a good way to keep the animals safe. I do feel that it is important to hold them in captivity as long as they are being help out.

The 39th Annual HS Conference at SDSU

The M.E.Ch.A Conference at SDSU was very entertaining and educational too. I must admit that the speakers from the workshops sessions one and two that I attended where good to some extent until they were interrupted, and the other speaker was just way off topic. But the whole event was good and interesting. I loved the sketch performed by the Mechistas and the dances, especially the Mujeres en Resistencia dance. Really portrayed what their name means.

The food was great and the music was fantastic. The students really had a great time dancing and enjoying the sight of seeing others dancing. I really enjoyed the whole event and I am definetly looking fordward to next years conference. I really do hope that the Mechistas that participated in making the event possible feel proud of what they did. It was a nice Saturday and I, personally wouldn't have been able to spend my Saturday day better and surrounded by such caring people like are the Mechistas de SDSU.

There was only one thing that I didn't like at all. There were too many workshops that sounded very interesting but there was very little time. About 30 workshops and we were only able to attend two. I really wish there was a way to be able to see more but I do understand that there is not enough time. I was really happy with everything else though. And the Mechistas were great. This Years theme was: DEMAND EQUAL EDUCATION THROUGH ORGANIZATION! NO BUDGET CUTS! NO DEPORTATION! NO MILITARIZATION!

M.E.Ch.A/Chicano Studies

I never though that there was so much history in the Latino culture, my culture, fighting for the rights of other Latinos. Education is so important now days for us and there is so much that can be done yet, few people are involved.
M.E.Ch.A (Movimiento Estudiantil Chicano/Chicana de Aztlan) is a student organization that empowers and teaches young men and women of any race, but focusing on the RAZA LATINA, about the history of our people. They teach people like me to believe and know that we are worth more than what the system wants us to be worth. Mechistas follow and study the chicano movements that have taken place and have been significant to the place we are given today.
I have learned many things about the chicano movements that have occurred in the past decades. For example I learned that chicano movements started as early as the late 60's and that since then a chain of new movements have taken place. Today there are many movements going on and while all of them are formed by different people and in different places they all have the same purpose, to inform and fight for our people, our gente, Nuestra Raza, la RAZA LATINA, los Chicanos y Chicanas.
I am very content to know that our goals and dreams can be possible but we must unite forces and fight together as a nation for us, our children, and our people. I am happy to know Latinos that are involved in M.E.Ch.A and I am happy to be taking these classes at Lindsay. The best school EVER.

Where the Eagles Fly

I want to go high where the eagles fly
I want to feel the wind rush on my face
I want to smell of nature, the trees and sea
I want to see the world from the sky

I want to live in peaceful space
I want to be free from all corruption
I want to explore without fear
I want to wish and know I'll receive

I want to be where no harm will ever get
I want to be where the evil can't come near
I want to go where it is neat
Where there is love
Where there is compassion
and joy around

I want to go high where the eagles fly
Fly and fly till my winds go tired
and finally land in the place of my dreams
where there's always peace
where there's love to share, to spread, to receive
I want to go high where the eagles fly

Ana Meza 10-13-2009

Blood Types

1. What are the four blood types? The four blood types are A, B, AB, and O.
2. O+ is the ost common blood type
3. What does it mean if you have blood type B? Blood type O? If you have blood type B it means you only have type B antigen. If you have blood type O it means you have neither A or B antigens.
4. Blood type O is considered the universal donor. What does "universal donor" mean? Universal donor means that you can donate blood to any blood type, but you can only receive O blood type.
5. Blood type AB is considered the universal recipient. what does "universal recipient" mean? Universal recipient means that you can receive any blood type, but you can only give to blood type AB.
6. What percentage of African Americans have blood type O+? 47% of African Americans have blood type O+.
7. Which racial group has 0.2% of its population with blood type AB-? 0.2% of Latinos have blood type AB-.
8. True or False--- Blood type is passed genetically from parents to children. It is TRUE that blood type is passed genetically from parents to their children.
9. If both parents have blood type B, what are the two possible blood types of their children? If both parents have blood type B, their children have a possiblilty of being blood type O or B.
10. If one parent has blood type A and the other has blood type B, what are the posible blood types of their children? If one parent has blood type B and the other has blood type A their children could have blood type O, A, B, or AB.
11. What does it mean when a person has Rh positive? Rh negative? When a person is Rh+ their blood cells have protein on the surface of their reed blood cells. If it's Rh- they don't have that protein.

Candelight Vigil at Chicano Park

The event that took place at Chicano Park on Friday, October 2, was a very nice experience for me. I loved the ceremony that was held to commemorate the lives of the people that have died trying to cross the border since the gatekeeper was set. I had never attended an event like that, so while it was a new experience for me I felt like it was full of good spirits. I felt the love of the people that were there towards those that have died for the past 15 years since the wall was raised. Although there were not too many people there I felt like the people that were there were honest people trying to fight for a good cause. The speakers were very passionate about the message that they were giving out to the people that attended and the young lady that sung "Si Calla el Cantor", was definetly singing from the heart.

I loved the event, I believe that in a few years the event will grow bigger and evntually the message will rech its goal.

Take down the wall!!!

Domestic Violence Rally

October 1st 2009

The domestic violence rally seemed very random to me, I'm not sure I quite understood much of what was going on. Yet, I felt like the information was very good. I really feel that there could have been alittle more interaction with the people that were there to support the cause. Maybe allowing people from the crowd to participate by talking about maybe personal experiences. that way the people have a bigger reason to encourae others to be part of it.

I really loved the booth were they were doing the mural. I really like that they allowed anyone that wanted to be in it to put their painted hands on it. I loved that they were giving out those shirts that represent the cause that s a good way for everyone that participated to keep showing the message to people that didn't know about the event or to people that don't know that there exist organizations that fight for the cause.

Teen Power and Control (Violence)

Teen violence affect many young women today, some of the most common violence a teen woman experiences often is caused by a Young man or even an adult man. Though this happens among male female relationships these kind of violence occurs within the family as well.

I think some of the most common types of violence occuring today among young women include but are not limited to:

Intimidation

Isolation/ Exclusion

Peer pressure

Anger/Emotional Abuse

From these four I deeply believe that Anger/Emotional Abuse is one of the type of violence actions that mostly affect young teens today. I think it is sad that this happens because most of the time this doesn't only affect teens within their relationships but it also happens within their families and in their own homes. Some times while the abuser can be the boyfriend/partner it can also be the brother, the sister, dad, and even mom.

Friday, (9/11/2009) was the Mexican Independence Celebration at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I was very happy to be there and most of all very thankful that I was able to participate in the ballet folklorico dance performance for the celebration. Along with other four girls, I danced thwo dances the most common dance named Son de la Negra y Las Indias de Tuxuapan. I had alot of fun there was plenty of food to eat all very tasty Mexican dishes: mole, chicharrones con chile, pozole, menudo, tamales, arroz con leche, frijoles, arroz mexicano, and lots of fruit. Everything was really neat and the decorations were obviously mexican themed. I had lots of fun. After the Grito de Independencia and singing the Mexican Hymn we had the DJ Fernando Cervantes play lots of good music to dance and well you bet there were lots of dancers. the Mexican Culture never says no to dancing. VIVA MEXICO!!!

E. Coli

What is E.Coli?

E.Coli is a type of bacteria that can get into foods such as beef and vegetables. E. Coli is short for Escherichia coli. E.Coli is not always harmful. E. coli lives usually in the intestines and helps break down and digest food but, in some rare cases certain types of E. Coli can get into the blood and cause a serious infection.

Is E.Coli a eubacteria or an archaebacteria?

E. Coli is a eubacteria.

How can you get it?

Eating undercooked ground beef, drinking contaminated water or/and unpasteurized milk, and working with cattle can increase the risk of aquiring E. Coli. E. Coli can also be passed from person to person in places such as Day Cares.

What are the symptoms?

Some of the symptoms of E. coli include strong abdominal cramps and belly pains. Also vomiting and diarrhea which may have blood in it.

How is it diagnosed?

E. Coli is diagnose through a stool inspection, The stool inspection is done within the following 48 hours after a bloody diarrhea occurs. If a bloody diarrhea were to occur the doctor might or would make an intestine inspection to further diagnose a probable E. Coli infection.

How is it treated?

There is no treatment for E. Coli. Drinking a lot of water is important thus it won't treat the infection.

How can you keep from getting E.Coli infection?

Using proper hyegene while cooking, before, and after is a good way to prevent E. Coli infection. Cooking all meats thoroughly before tasting and eating is another way of preventing E.Coli. There are many other ways to prevent the E. Coli infection and all contribute to proper hyegene and eating foods that are cooked according to the labels.

Other Information...

E. Coli is most common in children and the syptoms are stronger in children too. E. Coli bacteria can esaly be grown and its geneticws are simple to compare, easily manipulated, and it can be duplicated. These factors make E. Coli one of the best studied prokaryotic model organisms.

I promise you...

there is so much that I can say and so much that I can promise to you, I could tell you I will live forever, I could tell you I will never be apart from you, I could tell you that the world is yours, I could tell you I will gift you the stars. all this things I could tell you and I could promise, but I probably couldn't keep those promises. so the only thing I can tell you that is true is that I love you with all my heart, that I will always be at your side for as long as I live, Ican tell you that I will do all I can to give you as much as I can reach. I want you to know that I love you soo much that I will guide you the best I can so that you can become better than I was. I want to proomise you that as long as you allow me to I will be your best friend, and I will help you acomplish your dreams. I want you to know that I will never give up on you if you don't give up on yourself. I love you so much. I love you so much. my darling, my baby, the most wonderful thing that God could have gifted me with, my hope, my strenght, the light at the end of the tunnel, my inspiration, my life, my everything, I love you so much My lovely daughter.

Not sure what to write...

So I have been out off blogger for a while. I apologize. Not sure why but lately Ive been using and discovering other websites. Most of them are on my links so If u care to try any go for it. Anyways I have been doing alot of activities and I will be performing for the september festivals of the Mexican culture. I will be dancing ballet folklorico and I am very exited.. I will try to have someone take pics so I can post them here for the public view. lol I know hardly anyone sees this site which is mainly why I write many stuff on it that I don't mind people knowing but I'd prefer them to not find out. well Now i'm looking for some websites to get free patterns for sewing skirts. so I have to go havent really found anything. Well Loves For all...

A New Life In Christ

Sometimes, when I stare at the sky in the night, a tear comes out. It runs down my cheek and onto my neck and I feel a shiver come down with it. I feel the precence of someone next to me, I feel someone touching my hand, it's my other half, the precence of myself in the future. A sad and lonely heart that couldn't go far because it was always so shy, a sad me that never got the courage to stand up and do something to become a succesfull being. A soul that was hurt so many times by its own mind, a soul that allowed many to put her down with out ever realizing that they were all wrong. A shameful heart that bleeds inside, the wounds still fresh, for that same soul kept them alive by believing that she was worth nothing to the world, by paying attention to all the trash that was poured over her. Today,I shut my eyes and fall on my knees, I wipe the tears and raise my head, so its stands straight and tall. I get back on my feet and tell myself that this will be the day that those nights, where I cried feeling sorry for myself, will end. Because I feel strong and because I believe in myself I will change my ways, I will no longer let words bring me down, I will not let anyone step on my dreams, I will listen to and follow my heart. I will trust my decisions and I won't allow anyone to interfere with my beliefs. I believe in me, I believe im smart, I believe i am beautiful in the eyes of God, I believe that I can achieve anything I desire, If I set my mind and energy on it. I believe in me, I believe I am not alone, I believe there is always someone there for me, to love and to care, to gide me, and to help me get there. I believe in God and in Jesus Christ, I believe in the Holy Ghost and they are my strength, they will help me start a new life, where I can love myself and love others. They are one and they are with me, they love me and they will never let me down. I will be a succesful woman, I will be a successful mom, I will make my daughter happy and I will make her proud. Today I will begin a new life with God. Today I want everyone to know that I will be strong and there will be no more shame in my heart. There will be no more tears to shed over sad nights cus from now on I am a new person and nothing and no one is going to bring me down. As long as I have The Lord with me I will never be alone. I am a new person in God.

A New Beginning

I have decided to redirect my life towards the light of GOD.

Love Again

why does love knock you down so hard everytime it comes? Why does it have to be that way?
I fell in love with the wrong person before and now I feel it coming again. I can't believe I won't learn from my lessons. I cried so many times before and with out knowing, I did it again. They say there is a love for everyone out there, but im not sure why is so hard to find that someone. I can't stop thinking... my head is spining in place and I don't understand why? my heart beats fast when love comes close. I can't breath when love speaks to me. I can't speak back.

but why do I love if Love doesn't love me back. Love has a love and that love is not me. Is not even close to being it.
The wors thing is that unintentionally I've hurt love when it was close to me. what a disaster I made of what could have been at least something friendly. Love hates me now and I am hating me for makin love hate me.

Gomenasai Lyrics - Tatu

What I thought wasn't mine

in the light

wasn't one of a kind,

a precious pearl

When I wanted to cry

I couldn't cus I

wasn't allowed

Gomenasai for everything

Gomenasai, I know I let you down

Gomenasai till the end

I never needed a friend

Like I do now

what I thought wasn't all

so innocent

was a delicate doll

of porcelain

when I wanted to call you

and ask you for help

I stopped myself

Gomenasai for everything

Gomenasai, i know I let you down

Gomenasai till the end

I never needed a friend

like I do now

what I thought was a dream

a mirage

was as real as it seemed

a privilege

wen I wanted to tell you

I made a mistake

I walked away

Gomenasai for everything

Gomenasai... Gomenasai

Gomenasai

I never needed a friend

Like I do now

Gomenasai, I let you down

Gomenasai... Gomenasai

Gomenasai till the end

I never needed a friend

Like I do now

Japanese Class

Learning Japanese is fun. I love the way the spoken language sounds. I specially love to listen to Japanese Music. My favorites so far are Malice Mizer thought they no longer play as a band. I love Gackt he is sooooo hot. Hyde, He is fine too. Last but certanly not least there is Nana Kitade. Love her music, she has a cute voice and her style is great.

USEFUL JAPANESE WORDS and PHRASES:

Ima _ Now
O-yasumi nasai _ Good night
Nan desu ka? _ What is it?
Ichi _ One
Ni _ Two
San _ Three
Dare desu ka? _ Who is it?
Watakushi _ I
Anata _ You

in my contact list find Dawn she has more useful words too. I posted some that she didn't write so you learn more words rather than the same ones she has.
I'll post more later in the month. learn this tango (words) in the mean time.

DEANNA

Dangerous simile that traps you with charm
Eyes that resemble the stars in the night
An inspiration that can't let you down
Non-ending sweet words spill out of her lips
Natural beauty surrounds her
Angelic being that GOD gifted the world with.

April 26, 2009 Tigres del Norte @ Sea World

Every year I go to Sea World with my family. Every year we have a lot of fun, but yesterday was the best day ever at Sea World. Los Tigres del Norte had a concert at the SHAMU Stadium. It was my first concert ever. I sang and Daced ad I cryed. I love their music and I love how they sing. The topics of their music and the lyrics are all well chosen. I can't believe I was there. I wished I would have taken a picture with them. They were wearing a beautiful reen outfit, it was shiny, and sice it stared getting dark the lights made the shiny outfits look like they had lights on them. It was fascinating, All the people were dancing and singing specilly. If they did it again next year, and the year after ad the one after that... I WOULD LOVE TI GO.

VIVA MEXICO Y SU MUSICA NORTENA!


VIVAN LOS TIGRES DEL NORTE!

For Becky with love from Ana.

LADY FINO
Her heart is as fragile as a rose made of glass. So fine and delicate. So beautiful inside out. The sun couldn't shine brighter than her smile, the smile of an almost perfect being, beautiful Lady Fino. The rivers and the night are jelous indeed, for her hair is like a black waterfall; darker than night and radiant to the sight. Lady Fino is so wonderful as mild as can be. Give her a smile and youll get a friend. Love her and you'll know precious love, for she is Lady Fino , as fine as can be.

What should I do?

Every day for a few weeks already I've been askingg myself this question. What should I do? I am not sure what my destiny is without him but also I am not sure what my destiny is with him. I don't want to make a mistake, I wouldn't want to condemn my daughter to live unhappy. But is leaving the best thing to do? Why can't I just say I am leaving and be gone? Why am I such a coward? Is it because I amm not sure that leaving is the correct thing? I am so scared of making the wrng choice ut then I am not happy here. I can't make my daughter happy if I am not happy. I need an answer and I dn't know who to ask. I don't understand why I think about it so much. I should just leave and never come back. I don't want to give up though, I know that there is hope for me here but with out him and I think I need him more than I ever thought I would. What to do? I need answers. Some one help me.

Prolemas de Familia

Es verdad que la familia siempre esta con tigo, en las buenas y en las malas. O por lo menos asi lo dice el dicho. Yo pienso que es triste que la familia siempre se olvida de un otro familiar y solo se akuerdan de ellos kuando a pasado una trajedia. Mas triste es que la familia tenga preferidos entre familiares y que agan a un lado a los demas.

Por ejemplo. Dos de una familia, un tercero llega y el segundo de la familia es echado a un lado. Sanson, es el uno, Brutus es el dos, y el tercero es Zeus.

Por que Sanson recibe toda la etencion de Zeus y a Brutus lo hacen a un lado? Por que Sanson es mejor que Brutus a los ojos de Zeus? Por que Zeus no pregunta a Brutus en vez de a Sanson? Brutus tambien sabe. Brutus es tan inteliente como Sanson. Ah, pero Zeus no lo ve asi. Zeus no se a tomado la oportunidad de conocer y platicar con Brutus. A los ojos de Zeus, Brutus es ignorante.

A hora Brutus se siente rechazado por Zeus, Brutus tiene coraje por que Sanson es la estrella. Pero Brutus no entiende por que? Y Brutus sige por ahi, pensando que tododos incluyendo Sanson son mejor que el. Brutus se siente solo, triste, rechazado, poca cosa, incapaz, y muchas otras cosas.

Esto que le pasa a Brutus no deberia de ser asi. Brutus tambien era familia y lo icieron a un lado. Pobre, si la familia es asi con uno, por que preguntan despues por que se suicido? Por que vive en la Deprecion? No se ponen a pensar que es la culpa de la accion de Zeus y de todos los que actuan como el.

Brutus vive en soledad por la Familia. Brutus Soy Yo!

hurting

Having to say goodbye to those that you love can be very hurtful. Even when you know its for the best. How an anyone deal with the pain of knowing that the person you love the most in the whole world, is better off with out you. There is so much to deal with so much that sometimes the only way to end withh the pain is to end it for ever.

you want to see hot?

I want to be in her place...(the one on the left)


I pick front seats


can I ride along with Dasha

I want to sit with them too

..........

Happiness is just around the corner!

People hear that quote all over the world, in many different languages of course. I myself hear it all the time but for some odd, unknown reason, I keep turning on the wrong corner. I have absolutely no idea how do people do it. What turn do they make that I am missing? I'm actually beggining to think that that hapinness around the corner... doesn't exist. At least not for me.

Why can't he love me?

Every morning I wake up, only to realize that it was all a dream.

That him and I together walked and laughed and laughed.

That him and I sat drinking tea, and that we shared such precious things.

Every day I cry and cry, he only stares, he hurts my heart.

He shows no love, he doesn't care, he looks away, he walks away.

He calls me names, shows no respect.

Every night I go to bed and pray that he would show some love next day.

I lie in bed and wish that things would change in him.

I close my eyes and ask myself... why can't he love me?

Why can't my brother, LOVE me?

Letter for Dawn

Hey Dawn,
I just wanted to ask you, but... it's a mistake... you wouldn't know...

When will I stop being so worthless? When will I love myself enough to feel good about my capacities? When will I be good enough to do what I have to do? What life awaits me, If I can't find the right road? Why am I so useless?

I hate myself! I hate me because I can't do anything on my own. I hate me for writting this and not being able to to give it to you in person. I hate me for crying over nothing and over everything. I hate me for crying now, as I write this.

I just wanted to ask you, but... you wouldn't know... I AM the mistake.

Love you,
Ana Meza

P.S Don't worry about me... you have your own problems.

Language Class!!!

Learning a language can be a lot of fun but when you are trying to learn three different languages at the same time it can get prety confusing. Especially if two languages that you are trying to learn are similar. Even when the languages don't really exist in real life, they can be hard to learn because they are actual new words that you have to learn and new sentence structures. the reason I am saying this is because I am learning Japanese wich is a real language everyone should know that, right? Anyway I am not only learning that but also I am learning a language that was completely made up by my cousin who loves art. lol It's true though this language is very similar to Japanese and since I am studying Japanese I often get confused with some of the words. But like I said I like learning these new things and well I see it as a challange. ^_^

what the...

I'm not sure why I'm writting this here but I just wanted to let the world know that I feel really lonely. I'm always feeling like this but I don't know why or what can I do to not feel like this. I wrote a poem a while back and it's name was Useless I lost it unfortunetly but I remember that I said that many of the things that I do are wrong or at least tha's what others say... no names mentioned... I cant do anything for myself and I know that that is one of the things that really make me useless. I wish I could Vanish from the world forever and maybe like that the world would be better off. I HATE myself and I hate being sad but I can't help it.

I wish I was beautiful like Her...

Has BLOGGER been FORGOTTEN!!!

I'm wondering why I don't use blogger that much anymore. NO, it hasn't been forgotten but there are so many websites out there to try out that sometimes it's hard to remember that we have others. Blogger is awesome and i love it because I can express my feelings and anyone can give opinions on what they think. I don't usually get visitors and when i do theyu don't leave comments so... I usually use blogger more of like a journal and hey t's cool I like that way. I like using Blogger alot and I don't think I would forget it. Any one who reads this please give Blogger a try it's really nice.

Life is not always bad!

Recently I've experienced a lot of depression attacks, and I hate them they bring me and my whole world down and then I feel bad for myself and then I cry. Most of the time I don't know why I am crying but I sit there and keep on crying. Two days ago, I took a walk in the middle of the night and I looked at the stars, I wasn't sure what I was looking for but I was there staring at the sky. I realized after a while of just walking outside that the stars looked extremely pretty and that i just couldn't stop staring at them. And then it struck me. I knew then that there was something beautiful all the time and that it was there to make the hard times seem less harsh. Last night I took a walk outside in the middle of the night, and once again the stars where there looking pretty like they did the day before. I know that when I feel bad I can look at the stars and feel that there are things to life that aren't always bad. And that in fact some things are beautiful in there natural way.

HYDE

College...

why is going to college such a complicated situation for illegal residents of the united states? Getting in is easy but then you have to pay ten times the amount of money a regular U.S. citizen would, per unit. and that is with out counting materials. those are extra. what a pain. No wonder many immigrants don't finish college. most of the time we hear that the U.S. is the land of opportunity and justice for all, the truth i would have to say it's that the U.S is the land of opportunity and freedom for all U.S. citizens. only legal aliens... what ever I am an imigrant but i won't give up on college until i have tried every single possible choice. i want to be a successful woman and I know that in order to become one I can't give up...EVER!!!!!!!!!!!