Thought 1

I wish I had a love story like Nana's.  I guess my love story is more like Hachi's. I'm always so careless, I give my heart out just like that without thinking twice about it. Just like Hachi, I got deeply hurt, but I wasn't as strong as she was; I literately tried to end the pain by ending my life, she only thought about it.

I can't believe that I feel so sad today though I should be feeling happy because I got a chance to see him even for just a second, but that has never been enough for me.  I guess that was another one of my big mistakes, I always wanted his entire attention for myself (even though I allowed him to be free).

All I ever wanted was to be yours, to be loved, and to love back. I was so childish, thinking that I could ever make him fall in love with me just by getting him to be by my side.  I think... scratch that, I know that I put too much pressure on him and I lost him.  I should have known better.

I hate to admit it but I lost him because I was and still am an immature little girl who doesn't want to grow up.  Even though I would really like to say that I don't know how. 

I need him so much I feel like I'm loosing energy and I get scared, I always fear myself.  I often think that the one person that could really really hurt me is not him.... but me!